Tag: tw: trauma

Undead Army

Well, hello. Long time, no post. I have, against my better judgment, decided to use this as a place to post my shitty lyrics, personal prose, ramblings, short stories… whatever. I’m thinking about also picking up regular blog posting again, but considering I’ve moved all but one of my previous posts to private I’m not entirely sure about that. Since no one follows this page anyway, I might just do it as a way of getting my thoughts out. I’m not the best at talking things out with people when I need to (I’m a textbook introvert), so what’s the harm in getting it out of my system here? Again, we’ll see. I have plenty of bad poetry saved, but I thought I’d go ahead and start with this one. It’s actually a song, but I only have a melody for part of it. I don’t know how to read or write sheet music, so I can’t convey how it’s supposed to sound, sorry. It’s unedited and dark, but oddly I kind of like it like that. It sounds as desperate as its subject matter. Please see the tags in all of my posts for trigger warnings. I went to school to get a degree in psychology to work in crisis intervention, likely as an advocate of some kind to abuse survivors (specifically sexual assault survivors). That didn’t end up happening, but I have volunteered at shelters and briefly served as an ER response team member. That is part of the reason that my writing will sometimes have dark themes. I’ll always tag triggering content though. Lastly, note that all of my content, no matter how trashy, is copyrighted. 

I wish you were to be a scar
so at least I’d know the pain would go away
but you’re a bruise
an ache that never seems to fade
I wish I could erase your name from existence
and devils like you will never know true repentance
or what it’s like to feel a beating within your rib cage
and one day there will be no more fear, no more tears, no more victims
you’ve forgotten that little girls grow up
and they’ll come back to haunt you
there’s no place you can hide
from the shame that may chase you
you’ve won for the last time
and now we’re about to break you
do you hear that sound?
you’re going down
look at this army you’ve created
Lolita came back stronger
and has raised soldiers from your devastation
thought you’d be free forever
but now you’ve gone and woken up the masses
and they’ll take all memory of you
and burn it into ashes
Lolita, Lolita
was never a love story
Lolita, Lolita
has come back
now you’re sorry
thought you’d be free forever
keep hiding
hearts you’ve severed
in your wake, you never knew you left a trail
you hear them singing?
a cursed and piercing song?
they’re saying “I’m alive”
they grow closer roaring
“I’ve survived”
a deadly day is dawning
an army is calling
they are through with your violence
they’re haunting
there’s no peace
while Lolita breathes
Lolita, Lolita
was never a love story
Lolita, Lolita
has come back
now you’re sorry

Originally written December 11th, 2020.